Game Over

This is going to be a nerdlier blog post than I usually write. This one is about video games. Yes, I play a lot of video games in my spare time. I am Kevin Lee’s wife after all. It’s pretty much required.

Last weekend there was a sale at EB Games so Kev and I picked up a few titles that we’ve had our eye on for a bit but haven’t been willing to shell out $60 a pop for. One of those games was Catherine. I doubt that many of you have heard of this game so here is a quick description. It’s mostly a 3D platforming puzzle game with a story mode in which you make choices to influence the end of the story. There are eight different endings and it requires three playthroughs to get all of the achievements. (That meant nothing to most of you.) This is a notoriously difficult game. It’s rated 10 out of 10 in difficulty as long as you do not refer to walkthroughs. I have not been referring to walkthroughs.

Here is a video of Michael “Ragequit” Jones getting so frustrated with this game that he throws an Xbox out of a window and then smashes it to pieces with a field hockey stick. This is a completely reasonable reaction to playing this game. Warning: extremely foul language:

How does this all relate to pregnancy? I’m getting to that.

So on Monday night I was home alone so I popped the game in to give it a little test run. I started playing at about six. I stopped playing at around ten thirty. I didn’t intend to play that long but this game is very addicting and I was definitely on a roll – I’d played through around half of the game and gotten a bunch of achievements which is awesome because I am a completionist.

Last night I popped the game in again…only to realize that I’d been playing through on Kev’s profile the night before and hadn’t actually gotten any of those achievements for myself. Crap. Well, the only thing to do was start playing all over again under my own gamertag and get those achievements for myself. This time I played for a much shorter amount of time and gained back almost all of my progress from the night before. It went a lot faster now that I’m familiar with the game play and knew in advance which choices to make. Awesome.

Tonight Kev is home and as for me…my back hurts. It’s been hurting for days and not much seems to help it. I figure that it’s caused by a combo of lifting kids and objects at work and carting around the extra weight I’ve recently put on. Kev offered to give me a massage to try and work it out so I sat on the floor in front of him and he put an Xbox controller in my hands to give me something to do while he tenderized my muscles. He’s the best guy.

So I started playing Catherine and right from the start it was just a long series of fails. Keep in mind that I was playing through a part of the game that I breezed through on Monday night when my back was feeling a-ok. I made stupid mistake after stupid mistake, repeatedly falling to my death, getting impaled on spikes, and backing myself into corners which made the level unbeatable. I couldn’t even get through one stage of the game. And I was getting more and more frustrated because I just completed this part two nights ago but my back is in so much pain that I couldn’t focus on what I was doing.

After about twenty attempts at the same stupid part of the same stupid level the cursing started. This is where Kev’s “tantrum radar” went off and (I don’t know how he managed it) he diplomatically talked me into putting down the controller and going to get some Tylenol. This was very wise of him because I think I was getting pretty close to fully smashing the controller against the floor like a child.

Ten minutes later I was seated on the couch with an icy/hot patch on my back and Tylenol in my belly and Kev was exiting my game without saving. I hadn’t made any progress at all so there was nothing to save. Lame.

I’m much calmer now and my back is starting to loosen up a little. When I looked at a screenshot of the level that gave me so much grief I was easily able to see which move I should have made to get to the end. It was a simple strategy that I would have seen immediately if I wasn’t so distracted by back pain.

The next time I play Catherine it’ll be a snap to make some progress. But I will not attempt it again tonight because my back hurts.

Pregnancy, you win this round.


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