Three More Weeks

This morning I was blow-drying my hair when a sudden thought crossed my mind – in a few weeks I will lose control of my body and endure what will probably be the most painful experience of my life as I bring another person into the world.

My very next thought was, “Oh hell. Three more weeks.”

A former co-worker of mine just texted me and asked if I’m nervous about having the baby. I didn’t even have to think about my answer – I’m not nervous about having this baby. I am nervous that I will go past my due date but I’m not nervous about giving birth or bringing her home. On the contrary, I’m excited. It’s going to be like ultra-Christmas.

As of Sunday I will be 37 weeks pregnant. I’ve been reading week-by-week pregnancy articles which describe a baby’s development and what kinds of symptoms a pregnant woman can expect. Today I read that a baby who is born at 34 – 37 weeks will generally do just fine and 37 weeks is considered full term.

To which I say, “GTFO Baby.”

Of course, we don’t want her to come too soon. We want her to be fat and healthy. That is the most important thing. Even so, I’ve been telling Millie for weeks now that if she comes before the end of September, a week or more before her estimated due date, Mommy will buy her a pretty sapphire ring.

Sapphires only. No opals. So she has until September 30th to evacuate the premises or no birthstones for her. That’s the arrangement.

People keep telling me that the last few weeks will go by quickly. This makes me want to scream at them. “NO! You’re wrong. They won’t go by quickly. Every damn day of this pregnancy has been long and uncomfortable and I hate everyone who tells me that the days are going to fly by. If one more person suggests that the rest of my pregnancy is going to “go by so fast” I am going to poke them in the eye.

I now have carpal tunnel in both of my hands. This means that my fingers are stiff and swollen and all of the joints in my hands are painful. My hands also lock up whenever I stop moving them so I wake up several times each night with completely numb hands and fingers that are locked in place. This is the reason why I don’t type very much these days.

I also have a lot of pain in my left hip now which causes me to freeze in place several times each day as I try to change from one position to the next without feeling like I’m about to dislocate it. This is the reason why I wound up having to start my maternity leave a week earlier than I was hoping to. I’m a little bummed that I wasn’t able to hold out longer but the constant pain was starting to affect my mood and you can’t be cranky while working with toddlers.

So today was my final day at work although it still doesn’t really feel like it. Tonight we are celebrating with laziness and Chinese take-out. Tomorrow we’re buying a bassinet and packing our bag for the hospital. After that the forecast calls for some nesting followed by trying every labour-inducing method under the sun. After that I plan on going completely insane until she’s out.

Please stay tuned.